"Hot or Not?" What Has Beauty Become?

So I was sitting in class today, and a good friend of mine asked me if I had heard of the new app Hot or Not. Just the title astonished me, and I knew at once I was going to be disgusted by the following. She continued to explain that it was a social networking site (and app now) where you are rated based on your appearance, and then this app spits out a number and if you score high enough then you are considered "hot". Other features of this include being able to connect to Facebook and see who else you know that is "hot" as well as being able to chat with hot people in your area.

So here's my question: What happens to the people that have not gotten a high enough score. This new site is opening up TONS of self image issues. So let's say you don't do so well on this rating scale, you've now been marked by your peers so that everyone can see. You have been judged by your appearance and that alone, and now everyone else you know can really know how "hot" you are. That situation sounds horrible, and humiliating, plus said person could develop serious self love issues. Okay next situation, let's say you get a pretty good score and you are considered "hot". But someone you know got an even higher rating, and now all the people you wanted to talk to are talking to them. You've now reached a state where you compare yourself to others based solely on your physical appearance. And now the rest of the world can compare you as well.

So if that was not clear enough I think this app is disgusting but I think that many people will download it because our society is obsessed with beauty and competition and perfection. This is a very strange concept to me, because it seems that beauty has become relative. As in you may be beautiful but let's compare you to what society thinks is the perfect beautiful, and we'll see how pretty you actually are. Chances are they'll tell you you're not good enough. Or you yourself will say I am not good enough, because if you're reading this I am positive that you've compared yourself to someone else. Everyone does it. It happens, please do not feel shame for this. You are living in a comparative society, this is what you're raised to do. This does not mean I encourage you to compare yourself, I don't think it will help you in any way. But if you do find yourself in a situation where you start comparing yourself based on physical appearance, intelligence, talent, I want you to recognize that this is happening and it's okay. This is an emotion you're having and it is OK to have emotions, I encourage all emotions. That being said please do not fixate on the comparison. Realize the emotion and say "Hmm this kinda sucks, but hey this is how I'm feeling and I can't change that because it's just happening, and I'm sure it will leave as abruptly as it came". Also keep in mind that if you can't get out of these kinds of habits and are always feeling worse than everyone else, than I would suggest professional help. Which is exactly what that is, it's help. Yes that can be a little scary, but I know from personal experience overcoming the fear and stigma of help will benefit you in the end. But that is a whole other topic.

So, I challenge anyone reading this to stay away from this new app, because I think it will do you some good. Of course you don't have to take my advice but why else would you be here? Thank you for reading, and let me know in the comments what you think beauty has become.

Keep spreading the feelings that you feel, and keep loving all the lovely people you know.
-Natalie

Blogs. So this is what's up!

Okay, so first off I'm not a writer. I make tons of errors, my grammar is not exemplary, and don't even get me started on organization. This is a place that I think should exist. Honestly just for the sake of existing. I hope it might make a difference to someone, or maybe just make someone chuckle to themselves quietly. But this has no "purpose". I know what I want to talk about, and that's mostly what I think about everyday. Which can range from why do I keep getting Facebook notifications for Jelly Smash to why do I live in a world where there are unrealistic expectations thrust upon people of all genders and orientations at such young ages.

Second. Why the fuck is it called The "F" Word. Seeing that I just used fuck in a sentence it's not because I am at all shy in my use of profanities. It's what I guess what you might call irony. Maybe. If that makes sense. The "f" here stands for feminism. I know scary feminists, who hate men, and just want special treatment. SURPRISE! That is not what feminism is. Feminism is, and I quote, "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." Okay so this pretty much says women should have the same rights as men because we're all the same. Essentially, women are humans too. I know it's crazy, I probably just blew your mind. But really it's a pretty simple concept and if we could all realize women are just the same as men, that'd be pretty nice.

Third, why again? I mean what difference is this really gonna make, I mean you're a teenage girl sitting on her laptop at two in the morning talking about how we should all be equal. I will tell you why, the "person" that is posing these questions (don't worry it's really just me sitting in my room talking to myself). It is because I am fed up and I want to start conversation or even just thoughts in other people's minds. It's not because I think one blog will change the world. But I do believe a group of people can. And maybe if I just get one or two or three people just to start conversation with the people around them, then maybe I can make a difference in someone's life.

Fourth, are you really just going to write tons of posts about feminism? No, I will admit that is a large part of this blog (for heaven's sake it's in the title) but I am not only a feminist. I am a humanist. I believe that every human should be treated equal, and that means not being ridiculed for what you feel and who you are and what your problems are. And honestly I might just share a story or two, because that's who I am. I am a storyteller because I think being an open book and sharing your past and thoughts with people builds strong connections and lasting relationships. And trust me there are plenty of humiliating and hilarious stories that if you don't laugh at how insane I've been, there's got to be something wrong there. Again as I said earlier there is no set "purpose" for this place, but I find it exciting, and if you're wondering well if there's no purpose then why would you make the title about feminism. And I will tell you Mr. Snarky Pants that I feel that this title captures who I am, so maybe it will help you understand me as a person.

Well, that's all I've got for you. I don't know how often this is gonna happen, but I hope we can all share and feel here. I look forward to the anger, laughter, and tear ridden posts ahead of me. I think there will be many.

Keep spreading the feelings that you feel, and keep loving all the lovely people you know.
-Natalie